So much in little time

I haven’t been on here in weeks.
For people who are friends with me in real life or follow my other account know that my uncle passed away March 28th. It was 2 weeks of heartache and many hospital visits. He was in a drug coma basically. I will explain everything when i calm down and don’t feel so angry at his roommate and” girlfriend”

But, that is why i haven’t updated and i apologize for slacking. Just so much heartache going on with the loss of my youngest uncle at the age 35.

Saturday Anxiety

Oh boy yesterday was just filled with anxiety. First having to go in 2 Sprint stores made me so anxious. Then, my boyfriend and I had a late night diner run and of course it was time for the drunks to roll in. A table of 8 was about to get seated and one really drunk girl was stumbling and asking employees random questions and my anxiety went insane at that point. I asked for the check and we left quick because I couldn’t handle all the anxiety and all the thoughts running through my head.

One day I will get better, just now isn’t the time I suppose but I will keep positive and think that I made it through at the diner without having ann actual attack

Hi lovely! just stopping by to see how you’re doing! You mean a lot to me, I think about you and all of my followers on a regular basis! I just want to let you know that you can ALWAYS come and talk to me, and we can leave the judgment at the door. You’re wonderful no matter what your past experiences are, everyone on this planet makes mistakes so don’t get too down! You keep rockin’ it my friend! And if you’ve forgotten my question, how ARE you doing? (unless you don’t want to share)

You are the sweetest and this brightened my day! I am ok, had some issues yesterday with anxiety at a restaurant but I made it through! You can always message me too if you ever want to talk :)


To one it’s anxiety and to another it’s silly talk

Everyone has anxiety to some degree, natural anxiety can be good but then there are some of us who suffer from sever anxiety. I am going to use my personal life as an example of the subject behind someone on the outside can think it’s silly or makes no sense for someone to react to anxiety.

I have a HUGE problem with going in public places alone as most of you know. I can go to a gas station and some places I have been going in for years but it’s still tough. I found a new nail salon I love love love and I had my boyfriend come with me the first time because it was one of my birthday gifts from him. The first time going in I had bad anxiety, as soon as I walked in some customer kept staring at me. That’s a huge trigger for a lot of people. I kept thinking ” why is she staring? I should just leave now, I don’t belong in here” At first my boyfriend just kept saying ” who cares? she doesn’t matter ” Well technically he is right, however, with anxiety it’s much more than that. We feel judged even when no one is looking. I couldn’t explain to him what was going on in my head and I could tell it was making no sense to him.

The second time going to the nail salon which was 2 weeks ago was better in the long run but not at first. My boyfriend dropped me off so he could go cash his check and I was freaking out the whole ride. We got into a small argument because he didn’t understand how serious it was to me to walk in by myself. I kept telling myself what I was going to say when I walked in and he asked me if I was really telling myself what I was going to say when I go in.

Somehow, planning out exactly what I am going to say helps me. Part of a lot of anxiety gets triggers by fearing you’ll say or do something wrong or getting judged by everyone. That’s not all cases but it is a lot of the time. It’s so hard to explain to anyone what is going on mentally when it all sounds so silly to others.

If you don’t suffer from bad anxiety then my main tip(s) for you are:

  • If you don’t understand why someone is reacting a certain way, ask them kindly.
  • Don’t try to make them feel worse or less confident in themselves before trying to accomplish what they consider a big deal.
  • If you still don’t understand after they explain it which is normal then I suggest just to comfort them or let them have some quiet time so there is no added anxiety.
  • Ask if there is anything you can help with if you are the comforting type