Everyone has anxiety to some degree, natural anxiety can be good but then there are some of us who suffer from sever anxiety. I am going to use my personal life as an example of the subject behind someone on the outside can think it’s silly or makes no sense for someone to react to anxiety.
I have a HUGE problem with going in public places alone as most of you know. I can go to a gas station and some places I have been going in for years but it’s still tough. I found a new nail salon I love love love and I had my boyfriend come with me the first time because it was one of my birthday gifts from him. The first time going in I had bad anxiety, as soon as I walked in some customer kept staring at me. That’s a huge trigger for a lot of people. I kept thinking ” why is she staring? I should just leave now, I don’t belong in here” At first my boyfriend just kept saying ” who cares? she doesn’t matter ” Well technically he is right, however, with anxiety it’s much more than that. We feel judged even when no one is looking. I couldn’t explain to him what was going on in my head and I could tell it was making no sense to him.
The second time going to the nail salon which was 2 weeks ago was better in the long run but not at first. My boyfriend dropped me off so he could go cash his check and I was freaking out the whole ride. We got into a small argument because he didn’t understand how serious it was to me to walk in by myself. I kept telling myself what I was going to say when I walked in and he asked me if I was really telling myself what I was going to say when I go in.
Somehow, planning out exactly what I am going to say helps me. Part of a lot of anxiety gets triggers by fearing you’ll say or do something wrong or getting judged by everyone. That’s not all cases but it is a lot of the time. It’s so hard to explain to anyone what is going on mentally when it all sounds so silly to others.
If you don’t suffer from bad anxiety then my main tip(s) for you are:
- If you don’t understand why someone is reacting a certain way, ask them kindly.
- Don’t try to make them feel worse or less confident in themselves before trying to accomplish what they consider a big deal.
- If you still don’t understand after they explain it which is normal then I suggest just to comfort them or let them have some quiet time so there is no added anxiety.
- Ask if there is anything you can help with if you are the comforting type